And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
