ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize