I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
