im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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