you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
