I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
