what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
