going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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