we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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