yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
