Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
