So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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