I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
