I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
