there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
