PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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