return my video game
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
