So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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