It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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