I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
