Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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