it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
