Its about making memories worth repressing
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
