if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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