There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
