Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
