Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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