Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I got inside last night via doggy door
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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