Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
