white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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