we have officially lost it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
