great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
