I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
