Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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