Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I need to sanitize my soul.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
