Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
