I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
