i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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