Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
