he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
