yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Banned from zoo.
Again?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize