yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
