I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize