a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize