So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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