This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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