I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
