hotel room ftw
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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