brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize