so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
