New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
