We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I love you. Go after that dick
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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