the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize