their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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