im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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