were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
