Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
