Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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