i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize