You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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