So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
