we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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