So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize