just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
false alarm, still single
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
