Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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