Got a toothbrush?
In the future we'll all be gay
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
