My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
